Just As Soon As The Uplifters Get

There Is Bound To Be A Certain Amount Of Trouble Running Any Country. If You Are President, The Trouble Happens To You. But If You Are A Tyrant You Can Arrange Things So That Most Of The Trouble Happens To Other People.

Between The Years Of Ninety-two And A Hundred And Two, However, We Shall Be The Ribald, Useless, Drunken, Outcast Person We Have Always Wished To Be. We Shall Have A Long White Beard And Long White Hair; We Shall Not Walk At All, But Recline In A Wheel Chair And Bellow For Alcoholic Beverages; In The Winter We Shall Sit Before The Fire With Our Feet In A Bucket Of Hot Water, A Decanter Of Corn Whiskey Near At Hand, And Write Ribald Songs Against Organized Society... We Look Forward To A Disreputable, Vigorous, Unhonoured, And Disorderly Old Age.

There Was Once A Hindu Sage, Who Sat Down On The Banks Of The Ganges And Thought For Seventy Years About The Millennium. Just As He Arrived At The Solution And Was Putting It Into Verse, A Mosquito Stung Him And He Forgot It Again At Once.

Fire Is Beautiful And We Know That If We Get Too Close It Will Kill Us But What Does That Matter It Is Better To Be Happy For A Moment And Be Burned Up With Beauty Than To Live A Long Time And Be Bored All The While

It Has Been My Observation And Experience, And That Of My Family, That Nothing Human Works Out Well.