List of George Mikes Quotes

Israelis Keep Teaching You Your Own Business. God Knows Everything But The Israelis Know Everything Better.

I Said In My Earlier Book, And Find No Reason For Retracting My Statement, That The Famous Jewish Sense Of Humour Got Lost In Transit To Israel.

Tel-aviv Airport Is Still The Only Airport In The World Where Each Passenger Is Met By Ten Relatives.

The Country Has Always Been Governed By A Coalition But Today It Is Governed By A So-called Grand Coalition Which Is A More Polite Word For All And Sundry.

Australians Are Decent People With The Right Instincts And They Wish Everybody Well; But If All Is Not Well, It Is None Of Their Business And They Will Not Lose Too Much Sleep Over It. The Shrug Of The Shoulders Has Become - Only Temporarily, I Daresay - The National Gesture Of Australia.

Japan Is, You Often Feel, An Improved Version Of The United States.

Nobody Uses His Car In New York, Because So Many People Use It That Traffic Is Congested And Unbearably Slow.

A Great Deal Of The Pupils Time Was Spent Going Through, Once Again, The History Of The Communist (bolshevik) Party Of The Soviet Union. He Had Learnt It At Elementary School; At Secondary School; At His Sports Club; At The Komsomol; At The University; At A Folk Dancing Course; At The Chess-club.

Once You Start Buying First Aid Kits You Start Having Accidents.

A Foreign Observer Is Struck By Our Gentleness: By The Orderly Behaviour Of The English Crowds, The Lack Of Pushing And Quarrelling, The Willingness To Form Queues.

Bargaining Is A Repulsive Habit; Compromise Is One Of The Highest Human Virtues - The Difference Between The Two Being That The First Is Practised On The Continent, The Latter In Great Britain.

Remember That Those Five Hundred Words An Average Englishman Uses Are Far From Being The Whole Vocabulary Of The Language. You May Learn Another Five Hundred And Another Five Thousand And Yet Another Fifty Thousand And Still You May Come Across A Further Fifty Thousand You Have Never Heard Of Before, And Nobody Else Either.